Lessons in Love for Singles

by Sunny Rourke, LAC

Have you ever found yourself repeating the same relationship patterns, even with different partners?

Maybe you fall for the emotionally unavailable ones. Or you struggle to speak up, always trying to keep the peace. Or you find yourself giving everything, only to feel alone in the end.

If that sounds familiar, you're not alone — and more importantly, it's not a character flaw.

There's actual science behind why relationships fall apart and how they can be built to last.

That's where Drs. John and Julie Gottman come in.

Who Are the Gottmans?

The Gottmans are relationship researchers who've spent over 40 years studying couples, not just in therapy rooms, but in real-life settings. Through decades of research, they've identified the behaviors that lead to lasting love and the ones that spell disaster.

Their work is refreshingly practical and deeply hopeful: you don't have to be perfect; you need the right tools.

The Seven Principles for Making Love Work

The Gottmans identified seven core principles that help relationships thrive. Although initially designed for couples, these principles are equally powerful for individuals who want to prepare for a healthier relationship in the future.

Here's a quick look at each one:

• Enhance Love Maps

  • Get to know your partner's inner world — their hopes, fears, history, and daily experiences. Strong relationships are built on emotional awareness and curiosity.

• Nurture Fondness and Admiration

  • Learn how to stay focused on what's working — even during conflict. Admiration serves as the foundation of a resilient emotional connection.

• Turn Toward Instead of Away

  • Small moments of connection matter. We all make "bids" for attention and support — noticing and responding to them builds trust.

• Accept Influence

  • Great relationships aren't power struggles. They're built on mutual respect, flexibility, and shared decision-making.

• Solve Solvable Problems

  • Some issues can be fixed with the right tools. You'll learn how to navigate everyday disagreements with calm and clarity.

• Overcome Gridlock

  • Not all problems can be solved, but they can be understood. Behind every gridlocked issue is a dream or value that needs to be heard.

• Create Shared Meaning

  • Healthy love includes shared goals, rituals, and values. This principle is about building something meaningful together, with intention.

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So many people come to therapy saying:

"I don't want to repeat the same mistakes."

"I want to be ready next time."

"I wish someone had taught me how to do this sooner."

That's why I'm offering a new group called Lessons in Love: The Seven Principles for Singles — a 4-week workshop for individuals who want to build stronger, healthier relationships from the inside out.

This group is grounded in Gottman's research but designed with you in mind — the person who's ready to grow, reflect, and move forward more intentionally in love.

We'll walk through the Seven Principles, explore how they apply to your life and past experiences, and give you practical tools you can use right away.

Whether you're newly single, dating again, or simply curious about why past relationships haven't worked out, this group provides a safe and supportive space for growth.

Ready to Join?

We're starting soon, and spots are limited.

If you're ready to learn more or reserve your place, reach out directly — I'd love to have you join us.